brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
