Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
