i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
