Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
