Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Me too!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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