I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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