make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
