Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
