dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
