dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
