Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
