We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
