I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
