:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize