He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
