i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
