Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
