rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
