I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
