Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
