This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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