LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
