My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
