Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
