Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
