i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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