So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
