The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
