He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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