Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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