if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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