no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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