have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He better not be in your backpack
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
