the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
