I am puke
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
