please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
