You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
