I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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