I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
