I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
