watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
