I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
