kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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