i barfeds in our rink
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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