i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
