dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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