talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
