I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
