i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
