i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
