I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I faked an abortion last night.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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