So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
cat food counts as protein by the way
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
